How I Met David

One evening I went to a Contra dance in San Francisco. I love to dance but the main reason I went that night was to find a man who would register with me to go to a dance in Oct. These dances fill up fast and women have a better chance of getting in if they register with a man. It is a very common practice for women to ask men to register with them and means nothing to either person.

I asked a man I knew if he had someone he was registering with and he said yes. Standing next to him was a man I didn't know and hadn't even met. At Contra dances you wear name tags. I bent a bit to read his name tag and said so David have you registered with anyone for the Harvest Moon dance. To my surprise he said no. So I asked would you like to register with me. And he said yes. So we exchanged email addresses and had the last waltz.

I saw from his name tag he was from Fair Oaks, and just to make conversation, I asked him why he was dancing in San Francisco. His answer surprised me. He said he couldn't dance at his local dances because of a break up with a girlfriend. What surprised me is he spoke kindly of her although she was causing him some problems. (She did not want to break up and was basically pretending it didn't happen.) And yet he was trying to be understanding and patient.

I always hate it when relationships break up a one person has nothing but awful things to say about the other. It's like what they felt at one time meant nothing.

He was open and honest about what was going on but kind and generous towards her. This made me remember him because I was impressed.

We needed to email each other to coordinate sending in the registration and money for the dance. And we just kept writing and writing. Very open, honest, and introspective emails. And WOW can he write. We saw each other at dances (where we danced 2 or 3 times) on the weekends, talked on the phone most nights, and wrote tons of long emails all week long. There is much to be said for writing letters, either the old fashion way or at the speed of high tech.

Looking back I realize that I was able to be much more open and completely honest (not holding anything back) because I wasn't sitting there looking at him. I could write and edit until the words said exactly what I meant. And it was safe to write the words because I was alone. We got to know each other on a level that would have taken months and months of dating.

After a month of this, I took the train to Sacramento and we spent Memorial Day Weekend together. How are things going? See for yourself. Here we are dancing.